100 Reasons You Will be Bad at Fantasy Football in 2026

1. You don’t understand Cam Skattebo, you regret not liking the rookie and now you overcompensate. Like bitcoin, you missed the boat. It’s too late to buy at 60K.

2. You keep edging Rome Odunze. You glazed this man for 2 years and just as he’s about to come, you back away.

3. You think CJ Stroud is bad at football.

4. You still think David Montgomery is rookie David Montgomery.

5. You’re treating Saquon Barkley like the redheaded stepchild. AJ Brown is gone, and now he’s your only child left.

6. You’ve never seen a Super Bowl. Kenneth Walker and the Chiefs offense are a great match.

7. You have never dated a chick who’s into crystals. Like the blood moon, the Jets do arrive once every nine years.

8. You think Christian Watson and Jayden Reed play the same position. They don’t, that’s a good thing.

9. You’re bored of Josh Jacobs, but stoked for Ashton Jeanty. They’re the same guy with VERY different prices.

10. You still throw up a little bit every time you think of Kyle Pitts so you neglect reading the stat sheet. He is here.

11. You still throw up every time you think of Tua throwing a football. It’s nauseating, but not debilitating.

12. You don’t realize how good Jaylen Waddle is at football.

13. And that’s because you don’t realize how good Tyreek Hill was at football.

14. And you’re unwilling to admit that Bo Nix is good at football.

15. You think TreVeyonHenderson is Jahmyr Gibbs, when he’s James Cook at best and Kenneth Gainwell at worst.

16. You saw yourself in the mirror and thought the path to self improvement was betting on the Colts to avoid regression.

17. You gave up on Marvin Harrison Jr before he gave up on himself.

18. You gave up on Geno Smith before he gave up on himself for the fourth time in his career.

19. You’re not scared enough of what’s gonna happen to Seattle without Klint Kubiak this year.

20. You think karma will force Rashee Rice to eventually suffer the consequences he deserves.

21. You’re too scared of Malik Naber’s ACL.

22. You’re not scared enough of Tucker Kraft’s ACL.

23. You’re too confident Colston Loveland can overcome the law of conservation of targets without an injury to one of the receivers.

24. You’re too scared of the law of conservation of targets hurting Sam Laporta.

25. You think Brandon Aiyuk is still a hidden gem.

26. You forget that Breece Hall is Breece Him.

27. You don’t care that Omar Cooper Jr is probably worth the first round pick.

28. You’re too scared of a CMC injury.

29. You’re not scared enough of a CMC injury.

30. You’ve never actually watched the tape of Ricky Pearsall but assume it’s bad based on the critic score, ignoring the audience score.

31. You don’t really understand the different wide receiver positions and why Brian Thomas Jr can only play one of them.

32. You don’t realize that if the Jaguars wide receivers were lucky charms, then Parker Washington is the marshmallows and Jakobi Meyers is the weird oat things.

33. You’ve never seen Dalton Schultz, his slot rate, or the Texan’s options at slot receiver.

34. You still think Rico Dowdle is closer to a backup than a stud.

35. You don’t remember elite two headed back fields, so you fade Kyren Williams or Blake Corum.

36. You forget that when ranking top 10 Quarterbacks in the league, Patrick Mahomes is always number one.

37. You don’t seem to realize the Ravens made massive changes in the off-season. Possibly bad ones.

38. Jayden Daniels and Jackson Dart offer the same rushing projection, but you rank one like he has the weapons of the other.

39. You think Etienne is pronounced Achane and you draft him as such.

40. You’ve never looked at Garrett Wilson‘s career stats and then looked at who’s been throwing him the football this whole time.

41. You’ve never understood how good Michael Pittman is at football and his impact on a team's success.

42. You don't get how the Colts losing Michael Pittman is a bad thing but the Bears losing DJ Moore is a good thing

43. You’ve never understood Bucky Irving. Now, with injury fear, you’re too scared to ever try to understand him.

44. You didn’t watch the film of rookie Bucky Irving with Liam Cohen and apply it to Bhayshul Tuten.

45. You’re one year early on Makai Lemon (at ADP).

46. You’re one year late on Michael Wilson.

47. You’re just right on Quentin Johnston.

48. You hear the name Elijah Sarratt and say “who” instead of “wow”.

49. You’re right about your optimism for Quinshon Judkins... in 2027

50. You rank Harold Fannin based on his talent, not his projection.

51. You rank Tetairoa McMillan based on his talent, not his projection.

52. Like most failed dreams, you’re ready to give up on Dalton kincaid. True winners are those that persevere through the darkness.

53. You’re uncomfortable thinking about DJ Moore. I’m uncomfortable thinking about DJ Moore, but he’s probably the right thing.

54. You’re not sure if James Cook is cooked or cooking. You’re just tired of getting cooked drafting a dud in the first round. Now you’re afraid of Joe Brady’s love child.

55. You waste time drafting anyone from the Dolphins not named Malik Washington.

56. The Jets finally have talented players, but you’re still drawing up projections for Adonai Mitchell.

57. In the battle of Rhamondre Stevenson versus TreVeyon Henderson you forgot about Drake Maye's rushing projection.

58. Much like you’re average parlay, you never bet on Derrick Henry at the right time.

59. You judge Aaron Rodgers, the football player, based on Aaron Rodgers, the douche bag.

60. You’re scared to let Joe Burrow hurt you again, but sometimes you have fun when you call your ex.

61. You’re so keenly aware of how good Brock Bowers is at football that you’re willing to let him ruin your fantasy football team in round 2.

62. You love Ladd McKonkey but sit in denial of his size limitations.

63. Everything adds up for Omarion Hampton but you hate Math.

64. You’re correct about Carnell Tate, which is why the disappointment this year will hurt so bad (at cost).

65. You think Alec Pierce is Mike Evans even though you argued that Mike Evans isn’t a Hall of Famer.

66. You forgot the name Dallas Goedert.

67. You got scared of a rehabilitation trailer and now you compensate by thinking Davante Adams and Matthew Stafford are immune to aging.

68. When you look at Brock Purdy, you see Jared Goff, which is ironic because when you look in the mirror, you see a winner.

69. You watched the Arizona Cardinals overpay on a running back and you’re still trying to outbid them.

70. You think everyone’s gonna be the next Jaxon Smith-Njigba but you don’t even know who JSN is.

71. You’re excited that Kyler Murray is going to start for the Vikings this year.

72. But somehow keep letting Justin Jefferson get drafted as the WR6.

73. Nobody gets suspended in the NFL yet you’re fading Josh Jacobs.

74. you ignore the Jameson Williams splits when Sam Laporta is healthy.

75. You think simply being near Jahmyr Gibbs is going to make Isaiah

Pacheco good at football.

76. You’re so used to The Bears being The Bears that you’re not ready for The Bears to be DA BEARS!

77. You don’t realize that you don’t actually have to draft anyone from the commanders.

78. That includes Terry McLaurin even though we love him.

79. You finally started respecting Javonta Williams, which is why you can’t draft him anymore.

80. You finally started respecting Dak Prescott, which is why you can’t draft him anymore.

81. You finally started respecting George Pickens, which is why you can’t draft him anymore.

82. You’ve learned the name Ryan Flourney, which is why you can’t draft him anymore.

83. What I’m saying is you’ve gone back to overrating the Cowboys and it stinks because now I can’t draft them anymore.

84. You’re letting Jordan Tyson’s inflated ADP linger longer than his hamstring injury.

85. Baker Mayfield has baked in the hot Tampa Sun for years, but you’re still not sure about it.

86. You never questioned Jadarian’s price.

87. You don’t know what to do at the 2/3 turn.

88. Kenneth Gainwell was The Steeler’s team MVP last year but all you see is Nyheim Hines on a fat contract.

89. Rose was able to let go of Jack, but your not able to let go of Mark Andrews.

90. You’re shaking off Travis Kelce for no good reason.

91. You’re so focused on Jalen Hurt’s arm talent that you forgot about his leg talent.

92. You whine about the cost of rent but overpay for Josh Allen. There are cheaper apartments and cheaper QBs.

93. You think half a season of NFL quality play turned Daniel Jones into Eli Manning.

94. You think Jake Ferguson will stay as relevant as Jake from State Farm.

95. You think Xavier is Worthy enough to lift Thor’s hammer in the 8th round.

96. You thought the Broncos were “JK” on Dobbin’s role in this offense.

97. You let Tee Higgens violate your comfort zone one too many times and now your afraid to let Him in.

98. You draft DeVonta Smith as if he is JSN when he is just DeVonta Smith.

99. Your definitive 1.01 is anyone other than Jahmyrr Gibbs.

100. You chase 3’s at the bar and day 3 rookies in a bad draft class.